


Can I Be Your Goldfish?

by freckleslikeconstellations



Series: Can I Be Your Goldfish Forever? [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: But did I mention the fluffy cuteness?, F/M, Mycroft has body issues, Reader has bad friends, fluffy cuteness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 21:13:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4452593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freckleslikeconstellations/pseuds/freckleslikeconstellations
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You ask Mycroft to go to a summer carnival with you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can I Be Your Goldfish?

Today’s the day. You’re actually going to do it. Today’s when you’re going to stop waiting around hoping that Mycroft Holmes might actually notice you enough to ask you out and ask him out yourself. And you feel so pumped up and ready to do such a thing as you walk down the street wearing a mid-length white dress with your hair down underneath the blazing, well for London anyway, sunshine and clear blue sky towards the leafy Kensington house, which is one of many properties that Mycroft uses in the city and where you hope he’ll currently be. You don’t even feel nervous when you turn off the street onto the small gravel driveway and when the property’s suddenly looming in front of you, its red brickwork gleaming in the light and the white pillars that frame the doorway glistening. It’s only after you've knocked on the polished black door that some of the adrenalin you've been feeling up until that point begins to change into nerves. And then suddenly the door’s open and Mycroft’s in front of you and you barely feel anything but nervous. Especially when you take in how attractive he looks, for he’s wearing a light blue shirt that matches his eyes and instead of his usual tie he’s undone the top two buttons and you swallow at the faint brush of chest hair that you can see, before your eyes hurriedly dart back up to his face once more. 

 

Then, “F/N,” Mycroft says with his brow slightly furrowed as soon as he sees you, and he sounds surprised to see you there, before his face clears a little as he takes you in more and then, “What a pleasant surprise, what can I do for you?” he asks in a gentlemanly fashion. 

 

“Oh Mycroft hi,” you say now, whilst you breathe quickly, before you inwardly curse yourself, for you sound like he’s the one who’s paid you an unexpected visit, not like you’re the one who’s done so to him. Then, “Um actually, well,” you begin clumsily and you grow even more frustrated with yourself when you see how his brow has furrowed again above the expression of polite enquiry that’s on his face. So you try to actually get to the point this time when you say, “I um, actually, I was hoping,” but once more you fail to do so, and you can tell that although he’s trying to keep the expression of polite enquiry on his face he’s growing impatient, so, “I was hoping you might come to the carnival with me,” you finally blurt out. 

 

And he looks even more puzzled now, for, “I thought you were going with your friends?” he enquires. 

 

And you shift from foot to foot and swallow, before, “T-They’re all busy,” you get out. 

 

“ _All_ of them?” Mycroft asks a little suspiciously now with one eyebrow raised. 

 

And you can’t help but smile in spite of yourself now, for you've never considered yourself a person to have a big group of friends. Rather you think of yourself as a person who only gets close to a few people, but Mycroft’s always acted as if the five friends you do have add up to, in his mind, a large, boisterous group. Then, “Yes,” you begin, before you go on with what you hope is a winning smile despite your nerves, “Something else came up and they all decided that they wanted to go to that instead.”

 

And, “They didn't invite you along?” Mycroft questions now as he studies you intently and you swallow once more. 

 

Then, “Oh, well, I really wanted to go to the carnival”-

 

“Yes, I know you've been looking forward to it,” Mycroft says now, whilst his face becomes smoother, for that’s the first thing you've said since you arrived that hasn't left him feeling puzzled. 

 

So, “Will you come with me then?” you ask him more bravely this time, even though your heart is still doing trampoline tricks in your chest. 

 

And, “Well I was in the middle of doing some paperwork,” Mycroft begins somewhat cautiously now, whilst he wonders what your intentions are and why you thought to ask him of all people to a summer carnival. 

 

So your face falls now, before, “Oh, well, I just thought that since it’s a Saturday maybe you could do with a break. It’s a really nice day too, but”-

 

“Well, since you asked me so nicely and since I happen to suppose that yes, it would be a pleasant change, I think that it would be most rude of me to turn your offer down,” Mycroft interrupts you smoothly with a small smile, for he can’t help but feel pleased that you clearly want to go with him so much. And he feels even more so when it’s obvious that he’s said the right thing and your face lights up happily. Then, “Just wait here a moment, whilst I go and fetch my jacket and umbrella,” he says.

 

But before he can leave your hand darts out towards his arm and so he turns back to you, before you can touch it and then listens as you blurt out, “I don’t think you’re really going to need your umbrella today.”

 

And Mycroft looks at you for a moment, before his eyes dart out behind you to observe the sunny sky. Then, “Just my jacket then,” he relents, before he leaves the door open and disappears off into the living room on the right. And as he does so he lets out a soft swear word at the sight of the mess of paperwork that’s on the coffee table, before he automatically goes over there to try and tidy them up. But his fingertips barely brush against some of the papers, before an image of you shifting your position and getting a little anxious as you wait for him pops into his mind and the gentlemanly side of him that doesn't want to keep you waiting takes over. So he straightens up and nods at the papers, for it’s not like they’re important ones that need to be locked away, though he does still feel a little dissatisfied about leaving them behind in such a state. But you’re waiting he reminds himself, so he runs a hand through his hair and then grabs the suit jacket that he’d left draped over the back of the settee, before his eyes go to the tie he’d left there also. And his fingers half-reach towards it, before he falters and then sticks to his initial plan and grabs it anyway. Then he returns to you a moment later, but when he catches the slight face you pull at the sight of the tie he knows that he’s made the wrong decision in bringing it so, “No tie?” he queries.

 

And, “No tie,” you agree with a faint blush on your face because he read you so well. So Mycroft’s fingers move instead to do up the top two buttons of his shirt now but, “A-Actually I think,” you begin since he seems to be listening to your opinion today, before you pause when he looks at you then, “That is, I-if you want my opinion, I think you should leave them undone.”

 

Mycroft stares at you now for a moment, his mind wondering about your strange behaviour as he does so, for you’re usually a little shy, it’s one of the things he finds most endearing about you actually and why he was so patient with you just now, but you've never been this nervous in front of him before. _Or_ taken such an interest in his appearance. But in the end he supposes that you _do_ have a greater experience of summer carnivals and what people wear to them than him, so, “In that case I’ll leave them undone,” he says and you let out a little breath, before you watch as he shrugs on his jacket. Then a moment later he smoothes himself down and another little breath escapes you at the slight rippling of his shirt as it tightens against his chest, before your eyes dart back up to his face as he says, “Shall we?” 

 

And you nod, before you move aside so that he can step out and lock up. Then he offers you his arm and so, tentatively, you take it, before the both of you begin to make your way towards the street once more. And as you do, despite his close proximity-in fact he’s so close to you that you can smell his cologne-and your nerves, you begin to relax a little more. For the sun’s shining down and warming your face and you might have lost your nerve to directly ask Mycroft to be your boyfriend but you've still got the whole day to find the moment to. Not to mention to try a few things here and there if you get the opportunity to, to try and figure out what his feelings are. So all’s not lost and as you pass through the rusting metal gates to enter the park where the carnival’s being held you feel the most at ease that you've done since being in his presence. 

 

The park’s transformed from how it usually looks into a world full of happiness and promise with its mix of fairground rides, food stands and colourful stalls that begin just a few feet away from the entrance that you've both just come through and stretch right across to its far end. Multi-coloured pennant banners hang above it all and despite it being just a little after ten o’ clock there are a lot of people milling about already, their chatter acting like a pleasant soundtrack to the whole thing. 

 

And as you let go of Mycroft now and let out a little excited gasp as your eyes take it all in his eyes can’t help but get drawn to your face and take in not only how alive you look, but how beautiful too, and his brow creases, before he frowns at himself. For he’s noticed that you’re pretty before, but never beautiful… 

 

But your gaze has gone upwards now and you've spotted the big wheel that’s at the centre in the far end of the park. It looms over everything as it spins slowly around and you grab at Mycroft’s hand without thinking now and begin to step forwards, before as his eyes go wide and he freezes temporarily and then tugs his hand free automatically you look back at him. 

 

And as you do you curse yourself, for you can tell that you've just made him feel uncomfortable so a “Sorry,” escapes your lips, before you duck your head. 

 

But Mycroft tilts his head at you now, whilst his eyes study your face as he flexes the hand that you touched experimentally, for he can’t understand why it feels tingly all of a sudden. Then, “It’s okay,” he tells you, and then when you look up at him with amazement in your eyes he adds, “It was just a surprise that’s all,” before he offers you his hand. 

 

And a shy smile takes over your face, before you slowly take it in your own and as your skin brushes against his your breath hitches in your chest. Then you look up at him to see that his eyes are fixed firmly on the sight of your hand loosely in his own and you wonder what he’s thinking now. You can’t know that he’s wondering why you wanted to invite him and why you wanted to hold his hand. Or that he’s wondering why having your hand in his feels suddenly right to him, even though the strange tingling sensation that he doesn't understand just seems to have grown even stronger. Not to mention that he’s wondering what it would feel like to be holding your hand in his more firmly. And as he automatically tightens his hold on you now he lets out a little breath at the firmer press of his skin against yours, before his eyes go to your face once more to see that you’re smiling encouragingly at him and he can feel his face getting warmer at the sight so he swallows. 

 

Then, “Come on,” you tell him, before you tug him forwards into a little jog. 

 

And, _“F/N!”_ Mycroft splutters as he has trouble controlling his long limbs, which seem to flap out in all directions as you pull him after you. 

 

So as a laugh spills out of your mouth you slow your pace back down into a walking one and twist your head to look back at him. 

 

Then he steps forwards so that he’s walking alongside you, before he says, “You’re full of surprises today my dear,” and when you just smile at him he asks you curiously, “What is it?” 

 

So you shrug your shoulders at him a little now and your hand shifts in his and rubs against his as you do so, before you half-look away from him as you say, “Oh, nothing,” airily, and then add, “I just like it when you call me that, that’s all,” as your eyes swivel to fix on his once more and Mycroft’s heart does a little flip in his chest. 

 

Then, “In that case, _my dear_ , I shall have to make an effort to call you such a thing more often,” he says, and as you smile at him in a pleased fashion, before you look away bashfully he studies you even closer now. For he’s called you that before, it wasn't like this was the first time, and yet you've never looked so pleased by it before. So that’s another question to add to the ones of you asking him here and holding his hand. Not to mention to add to your strange, contradictory behaviour, where one moment you’re so nervous that you can barely speak and in the next you’re more at ease and _almost_ \- 

 

And his thoughts bump into each other as they come to a sudden halt now. For just past the side of your face there’s another man and woman and it’s the fact that they’re holding hands too that’s drawn his attention. So after you both stroll past them he twists his head back to watch as the man kisses the woman on the lips and as the candy floss that the woman’s carrying attaches itself to the man’s shoulder. Then his heart jumps in alarm in his chest as his head turns to face the front again. For you taking his hand and all your strange behaviour can’t mean that you want to kiss him… _can_ it? And his eyes go back to you now as you both come to a stop at the back of the queue for the big wheel. Your cheeks are slightly flushed and your lips are parted a little in your anticipation to go on the ride. And as you stand on your tiptoes to try and work out how many people are in front of you and your grip on his hand increases as you do so he finds himself telling you, “I think it’ll be a while yet.”

 

But, “That’s okay,” you say as you half-look at him with a smile and he looks at you in surprise now. For he’d expected you to be a little disappointed, even for your shoulders to slump maybe, not for you to say that. And then as you come down from your tiptoes and squeeze his hand his eyes dart down to your linked hands again, before he slowly looks back up at you. Then, when he sees a small smile toying around your face, which also has a light blush on it as you look at him out of excited eyes he finds himself smiling back automatically at you, before he can help it. 

 

But he still feels like he doesn't understand anything by the time you finally get to the front of the queue. 

 

And then as you let go of his hand he gestures for you to enter the capsule first. 

 

But, “You go first Myc,” you tell him and his eyes widen because _‘Myc,’_ before he ducks his head and shuffles forwards to enter the capsule. But he doesn't bend his head enough, for he’s still thinking about what you just called him, and so it catches at the top of the capsule and the sharp jolt of pain he feels makes him swear softly, before he sits down with a small thud on the white bench to the right hand side.

 

So, “Are you all right?” you ask him as you join him now, before you sit down opposite him. 

 

And because there’s barely enough room to accommodate both of you, your knees end up touching his and he looks at them for a moment now, before he suddenly realizes that you’re still waiting for an answer. So, “Yes,” he gets out, before he looks hurriedly out of the glass even though there’s nothing of interest to see yet for the capsule hasn't even started to move. But it gives him a chance to think a bit more at least and of course the first thing he wonders, as his hand rubs automatically at the back of his head now where he can still feel a dull pain, is why you called him that. You've never shortened his name before and his brow furrows again, before his head turns and his eyes slide down to fix on the sight of your bare knees once more. They’re just knees but they seem to be in a shape that he finds pleasing, and then as he feels a sudden irrational urge to rest a hand on one and feel how firm the skin is there he hurriedly swallows and turns his head to look out once more. For what on earth _are_ these feelings? Why has his hand been tingling so much? And he flexes it as it rests against his leg now. Why does he want to look at your knees? And why did he even want to reach out a hand to touch one of them just now? He’s known you for just over a year since you moved into 221C. But he’s never found himself wondering or feeling so much around you before. He’s found himself liking you of course, for you've always been nice to him and you've always seemed to accept him for whom he is. Not to mention the fact that you've dealt with living in such close proximity to his brother admirably. And every time he’s spoken to you he’s found you to be a pleasant, warm, caring and intelligent individual, even if you can be a bit shy. But he’s never spent much time with you on a one-to-one basis before and now he’s not even been alone with you for an hour today and already his head feels a mess and unusually unstructured. And he’s just wondering how he might be able to smooth out his mind again when the capsule jolts into life. 

 

At its sudden movement you’re sent flying forwards and he lets out a little breath of surprise as you fling your hand out in front of you and end up grabbing onto his knee. Then he stiffens at your touch automatically, before his lips move slightly at the sight of your embarrassed face as you let go of him hastily and lean back. 

 

Then, “Sorry,” you mumble, before you look hurriedly out. 

 

And he finds himself saying automatically, “It’s okay,” even though he doesn't know why it is. For if someone else had done that then he might have snapped coldly that they should have anticipated such a thing or that perhaps they should be more careful. But with you all he seems to be able to say is, ‘It’s okay.’ And now his knee is tingling from your touch and he might be an intelligent man, no scratch that he thinks, he _knows_ he’s an intelligent man but he doesn't understand any of this. He doesn't understand why he felt momentarily excited at you touching him. Or why he felt momentarily disappointed when you’d let go of him so quickly. He doesn't understand it at all. And he looks out and sees the sight of grey buildings stretching across into the distance now, before his eyes go back to you again. You’re looking towards the buildings too and he can’t help but smile at the way you’re leaning forwards slightly as if you want to see more. 

 

But then when you get up and shuffle around with your body slightly hunched so that you can go right up to the glass and look out he blurts out, “F/N, I'm not sure if you should be standing.”

 

And you twist your head to look back at him now, whilst you feel a little puzzled. But when you catch sight of the worried expression that’s on his face your own softens and so, “It’s perfectly safe,” you reassure him. 

 

But, “That’s a matter of opinion,” he breathes softly, still feeling uneasy, whilst his hands fidget on his lap.

 

So, “Come on, you can see so much more this way,” you try to convince him as you gesture with your head for him to join you. 

 

And he’s still not sure, but for some reason he doesn't want to make you upset or disappointed with him so he slides to the end of the white bench towards you, before he cautiously half-stands up and shuffles next to you. 

 

Then you smile at him and for one horrific moment he thinks that he’s going to be sick because he feels something strange in his stomach, but then whatever it is settles down again as you look away from him and out once more. And he tries to do the same. But it is only a fleeting glance, just enough for his eyes to scrape clumsily across the horizon, before his eyes go back to you once more and take in your wide, shining e/c eyes and the expression of wonder that’s on your face as your hands half go up so that the tips of your fingers brush against the glass. 

 

Then, “It’s beautiful isn't it?” you breathe as you sense him watching you and then he lets out a little breath as your eyes come to fix on his once more, before, “I know it isn't grassy fields stretching out into mountains or a sunset or anything like that, I know it’s man-made, but it’s beautiful,” and as you look away from him once more you can’t know in that moment he’s finding you beautiful too. 

 

Once the capsule finally jerks back to where it started and you spill out of it first, followed by Mycroft you both just stretch for a moment. 

 

Then, “Where to next?” he says with his eyes on you again. 

 

And you smile at him, before you look around as you consider and he can’t help but smile as your feet shuffle a little in one direction and then the other as you change your mind. 

 

So, “I'm sure we’ll have the chance to do it all, it just depends on what order you want to do it in,” he tries to reassure you. 

 

And you smile at him again, before you nod. Then as you finally make your mind up you say, “Shall we look around some of the stalls then?”

 

He nods and then he wonders if he should offer you his hand again, but you've already begun to walk in the direction of the stalls and so he falters, before as you turn your head to look back at him with a smile he hurries after you. 

 

Then once he’s walking alongside you once more you both smile at each other again, before you navigate your way through the crowd. And as you take the lead he finds that his eyes can’t help but fix on your back the whole time and his mind can’t help but worry that you’ll get separated from him or that someone will knock you over. So it’s a relief when you both get through the worst of the crowd unscathed and then when you find yourselves at the beginning of where all the stalls are. 

 

And, “Oh wow, isn't that pretty Myc?” you ask now as you grab at his hand and drag him to a stall that sells wind chimes, which are hanging down from a wooden arch just behind the stall and have beautiful paper butterflies attached to them at different heights. And Mycroft can imagine that when it’s windy the butterflies will move around each of the wind chimes and make soft bobbing movements as they do so. 

 

But then his eyes widen slightly and his breath catches in his throat. For _butterflies_. Isn't that what people say they feel in their stomachs when they get nervous? And his mind goes back to how he’d felt now in the big wheel when you’d been so close to him as you’d smiled at him. But that doesn't make sense, he thinks, for he wasn't nervous then-

 

 _“Myc?”_ you question now as you squeeze his hand. 

 

And he blinks back into reality, before he absent-mindedly squeezes your hand back and then, “Oh, yes, very pretty,” he gets out as he looks at you and you smile a little uncertainly at him as you wonder what was on his mind just now. 

 

But before either of you can say anything else the elderly woman who’s running the stall says, “Your boyfriend’s a little scatter-brained isn't he?” and you both tighten your grip on each other’s hands, before you both look at her to see that she’s smiling at you underneath her mop of grey curls and that the skin by her brown eyes is crinkled as she looks at you both in amusement. 

 

And you let go of Mycroft’s hand now, before you run your hand through your hair, and then, “Oh, we’re-we’re not, we’re just”- you begin, before you break off as you look at Mycroft now. And just _tell_ him, you think as your lips part slightly now. For this is the perfect time to. Just tell him that you want to be more than whatever it is you are at the moment, so, so much more. But his eyes are on you now and his lips are parting and you can’t know it but his heart is pounding inside his chest and you can feel the old woman looking at you and suddenly your throat’s dry and you lose your nerve again. So, “We’re not together,” you finally get out as you wrench your gaze from his and duck your head so that you can pretend to look at the pretty butterfly figurines that are side by side each other across most of the stall. 

 

And Mycroft’s brow furrows as he carries on looking at you. For the way you’d said it…it was like you were _disappointed_ that you weren't together. And he wonders once more now if that means you like him in more than just a friendly way and if that’s why you've been acting so strange today. But you can’t feel like that, can you? For what would you see in him? A man whose spent most of his life alone? A man whose spent so much time trying to keep his distance from everyone because that way he won’t get hurt? And as he looks at the way your hair is partly covering your face from view now he wonders what you’re thinking and he wishes that he knew. For maybe that would help. And his eyes dart back to the elderly woman now as if she might be able to help him. But, as if she knows that he really just needs to figure this out himself, she just gives him a little shrug and a small smile. And then as he notices that you’re starting to drift away to look at the next stall, which sells small wooden carvings of animals that you can apparently attach to jewellery, he moves to keep up with you. But when he joins you again you only offer him a small half-smile and he can’t help but feel disappointed when he deliberately knocks his hand against yours and you don’t take it. And again he wonders what you’re thinking. 

 

He can’t know that you've started to doubt yourself again. And that every reason you've ever thought of for not asking him out has begun to come back to you. For he’s so _him_. So intelligent and handsome and _capable_ with his high-flying job. So why would he look at you? Especially when you’re so shy and stupid sometimes and when you could barely even ask him out to this _stupid_ carnival let alone anything else. And you feel like crying now. So you take a couple of deep breaths, before you, having barely glanced at this stall, move onto the next one. 

 

Mycroft follows you silently and he watches as you take in some hand made jewellery on this stall and then some colourful knitted scarves, hats and gloves on the next stall after that, whilst he scarcely looks at them himself. For he can barely look away from you as he wonders why you’re not smiling any more. And as you move away from that row of stalls and look uninterested in looking at any of the others right now he wonders if he’s done something wrong. If perhaps he should have said something when the woman at the stall had said what she had instead of leaving it all to you. For that’s the moment when you first started to look unhappy he thinks. And he can’t help but wonder what your intentions are again now as he follows you aimlessly away from the stalls. But then his thoughts falter again at the sight of your face, which suddenly lights up. 

 

For, “Look, is that a ghost train over there?” you ask, pointing across to the right hand side of the park now where he can just about see a ghost on the top of a ride’s entrance through the obstruction of everything else. 

 

So, “I believe it is,” he replies, whilst he feels happier that you seem to have cheered up. 

 

And, “Would you like to go on it with me?” you ask him now, and though you say it rather shyly there’s a small, excited sort of smile toying around your lips too. 

 

So, “It would be an honour too,” Mycroft begins, before he pauses and then says dramatically, “As long as you’re feeling brave enough, for you never know what you might encounter on a ghost train,” and then he pauses again now and you get tricked into thinking that he’s about to continue speaking, but instead he jumps a little towards you with his hands half-raised and you let out a little screech of surprise as you stumble backwards. 

 

Then as he throws his head back and laughs a grin spreads over your face, before, _“Myc!”_ you cry as you pretend to be annoyed with him now and you bat your hands against his arm, but he only laughs some more. 

 

And as you step back and listen to it you find that its musical quality pleases your ears and you can’t help but think that it sounds just as nice, or even nicer perhaps, then the wind chimes would sound like on a day where the breeze was moving in between them. 

 

Then, “Sorry my dear,” Mycroft says as he gets control of himself and lowers his head so that he can look at you once more, “But it was so nice to see you smiling again that I found myself quite unable to resist,” and he smiles at you now, before he turns to stride off in the direction of the ghost train. 

 

And for a moment you find yourself rooted to the spot with a broad smile on your face, whilst your heart fills with something like hope as you stare after him in amazement. For he’d actually noticed that you weren't happy _and_ cared about it.

 

But then Mycroft stops a few feet away and turns his head to look back at you, before he asks, “Coming?” with a small smile on his face, for he can’t help but feel pleased that his words seem to have surprised you and that judging by the expression on your face it’s in a good way. 

 

So you jerk your head forwards, before you almost skip as you hurry to catch up with him as he waits for you with his eyes observing you all the while, and then as you reach him you slip your hand into his again. Then as you begin to walk together you huff out a contented breath, before you begin to swing your joined hands back and forth a bit and a feeling of pleasure trickles through Mycroft’s heart. For he’s still struggling to believe that you might actually have romantic feelings for him and still trying to work out his own, but something about walking along with you in such a carefree manner and having your hand in his again makes him feel happy. Not to mention glad that he’d agreed to come with you after all. For he could never have foreseen any of this happening. Never have foreseen that someone so pretty and as well-rounded as you would willingly seek him out and want to spend time with him, let alone hold his hand and seem so happy to be with him. And as you both join the back of the queue for the ghost train now he wonders what else this beautiful day has in store for him.

 

But, “Oooh, it looks kind of creepy don’t you think?” you say as you eye the exterior of the ride, which has ghosts, zombies, mummies, single staring eyeballs and bloody red splashes all over its murky green background. 

 

And, “I hope you’re not changing your mind my dear. For I've rather come to look forward to this one,” Mycroft teases you gently and you smile at him curiously now, for you can’t know how pleasant he’s started to find everything. 

 

So, “Of course not,” you say, before you instinctively hold onto his hand a little more tightly in spite of your words and the small smile that’s on his face grows. 

 

Then when you finally reach the front of the queue Mycroft helps you up onto the small wooden platform, before he lets go of your hand and follows you into one of the cars. It’s rather a tight squeeze and you can’t help but blush a little and feel both a little awkward and excited at the feel of Mycroft’s body pressed so tightly against yours. And you’re so close that you can practically feel the vibration of it every time he breathes, before you panic that he can feel the same. So you try to breathe more evenly so that he won’t think you weird if he notices, but you only end up breathing more unevenly instead. 

 

Mycroft meanwhile is more distracted by the feel of your bare knee against his trouser clad one then by your breathing. And he can’t help but wonder now what it would feel like if his knee were bare too. Would it feel as nice as having your hand in his? Or even better? And he swallows now, before he shakes his head a little to clear it of such thoughts. For it’s hardly a decent thing to be thinking when you’re so close to him. And not only that but wondering such things make him feel uncomfortable too. For does the fact that he’s wondering them mean that he wants a romantic relationship with you? Or is it just curiosity because he’s never had such experiences before? And feeling suddenly fidgety he draws the safety bar down across you both now and you shift a little beside him. 

 

Then a few moments later the car begins to roll forwards on the track, before it drags you both through some black drapes that hang down over the ride’s entrance. And Mycroft blinks, whilst his body stiffens and pushes back tight against the car at the feel of the rubber sliding across his shoulders. Then in the next moment his heart jumps in his chest when, as everything in front becomes black, you take his hand once more. And as your joined hands come to rest in between your legs and his he squeezes your hand back reassuringly. But it doesn't stop your heart from skipping a beat a moment later as a voice ripples across to you. 

 

“Intruders!” the male’s voice snaps, before, “You have trespassed into my home,” and there’s a brief pause, before, “And I'm afraid I can’t stop what might happen to you now. For there are dark creatures stalking these unkempt gardens and even if you do reach the castle, well, it won’t mean you’re safe,” he says and he sounds amused now, and you know it’s stupid but your heart can’t help but quicken its pace now and your hand holds onto Mycroft’s even more, before you feel a little reassured when he gives your hand another little squeeze. 

 

But then a moment later a little gasp leaves your mouth as a woman’s piercing cry fills the air. And it is the strangest thing for Mycroft knows that none of this is real and he’s hardly the jumpy type, but as soon as he hears the woman’s cry he pictures that it is you making that dreadful noise, you being taken away from him somewhere and tortured and so he shifts even closer to you, before he holds onto your hand even more tightly. Then in the next moment lights on both sides of the track suddenly glow to reveal tombstones, before there comes the sound of grass rustling and the sight and sound of them both makes a shiver run down your spine. Two strips of light flash against your eyes a moment later and make you blink, before you yell out as something brushes against your hair. And then as your head swivels back to the side again you jump as a hologram of Frankenstein reaching out towards you flashes seemingly inches in front of you and Mycroft lets out a little breath at the feel of you moving about beside him. Then in the next moment a gasp of surprise leaves him when you let out a little shriek, before you swing your free hand round to clutch onto the shoulder of his that’s furthest from you so that your body is half-leaning against his and your forehead is pressed against his chest. And there are noises and bangs going off around him, but all he can focus on is the feel of you so close to him and the sound of your soft breaths as they hit against his chest. And every time the lights flicker on and bring you into a sharper focus all he can see is the softness of your hair and every time he does so he feels a longing to touch it. 

 

But instead once his own breathing has calmed down a little he asks you, “Are you all right?” a little breathlessly. 

 

And, “Bats,” you pant a moment later, before, “Sorry,” you murmur as you push yourself off him now and he shivers a little at the feel of your hand as it moves from his shoulder and goes diagonally across his chest, before you resume a more normal sitting position. 

 

But then, a moment later, as if you've thought better of it, you slide down a little, let go of his hand, and his hand flexes automatically as if it wants yours back inside it, which of course it does, before in the next moment it stops at the feel of your arm as it links through his. And Mycroft’s heart slams in his chest when your head drops down to rest against his shoulder a moment later, before his eyes go down to you. You appear, in the dim light, to have your eyes closed and he watches as you snuggle even closer to him now, whilst your nose wrinkles a little. Then in the next moment your eyes flutter open and you tilt your head to offer him a lazy sort of smile, before you snuggle back down against him and close your eyes once more. He smiles and his eyes slide away from you momentarily, but he keeps his head tilted towards you, before his eyes slide back to fix on you once more as he ponders this new development. For you certainly seem to want to be close to him, and not just close, but _very_ close. And that certainly adds weight to the side of the argument of you wanting to further develop your relationship with him, although of course it doesn't make it a definite thing. Yet it seems more likely he can’t help but think in a hopeful fashion as his eyes slide away from you once more. But they go back to you almost immediately for you let out a sound of contentment against his arm and a crooked sort of smile takes over his face momentarily as he looks at you, before as he tilts his head closer to you he finds his eyes drawn to the sight of your lips. And he wonders as his lips part now what it would be like to just tilt your head back a little with his fingers to give himself better access so that he could kiss you. Wonders what it would feel like to have your lips rubbing against his in the semi-darkness. Would a little breath of surprise escape you at first, before you kissed him back? _Would_ you even kiss him back? And he’s about to do it now and his free hand tentatively comes up to begin its mission. For at least whether you do or don’t kiss him back that way he’ll discover what you want for sure. But then he lowers it at once in the next moment as a blinding light hits his face. And then he blinks and turns his head back to face the front as the car rolls back to where it started once more and the ride reaches its conclusion. 

 

You are similarly surprised and you let out a groan of displeasure and scrunch your eyes shut a little tighter, before you resign yourself to this new, bright world and open your eyes slowly. You have to blink a few times to get your vision the way it should be and then, suddenly realizing just how close you are to Mycroft, you jerk your head off him. Then in the next moment a faint blush crosses your face as you catch sight of the gentle expression he’s wearing as he peers down at you, before you swallow and then untangle yourself from him. Then you wait as he lifts the safety bar up once more, before as he gets out of the car first you slide across to follow him. He does a little graceful hop off the small, wooden platform and as he does so and he sees the same view of the carnival that he saw before the ride and the same clear blue sky and the same everything you can’t know that he’s marvelling at how different everything seems now despite all these unchanged things, before he then turns to take your hand to help you down. And so you take it with a little blush on your face, before you step down too. Instead of letting go of your hand though as you half-expect him to he keeps a hold of it. 

 

Then, “Where would you like to go next?” he asks you as he looks at you. 

 

And you take a moment to consider now, but when your stomach lets out a little rumble your hands flap to it immediately, even the one that Mycroft’s holding, and as he gets pulled forwards a step a little breath escapes him. Then as your hand automatically slides away from his, his instinctively twists so that it comes to rest flat against your stomach. And as it does so he feels your breath hitch in your chest and so his eyes dart up to you as his lips part. There’s a light blush on your face and your eyes just stare at his hand for a moment, before they flick up to meet his gaze.

 

And, _“I-I”-_ you begin uncertainly now, before you break off when his eyes go back to your stomach and when his fingers automatically begin to move a little so that they might be able to feel your skin underneath the texture of your dress, for he doesn't want there to be any talking now, he just wants to _feel_. 

 

And so for a moment you let him and the pair of you barely breathe as his fingers apply pressure to you gently.

 

But then in the next moment someone knocks against Mycroft’s shoulder as they go past and his eyes dart up to you again, before his head clears enough for him to fully realize what he’s doing and so he shakes his head, clears his throat and hurriedly withdraws his hand. 

 

You feel warm all over and you let out a little breath, for you can still feel the imprint of where his hand was and you feel a mad urge to grab his hand and put it back there now so that the feeling won’t fade. But he’s looking away from you now and he’s looking awkward enough about what just happened as it is. So, not wanting to make things any more so, you end up blurting out, “I'm getting kind of hungry,” as your head spins from it all, and then as Mycroft looks at you with a slightly odd look upon his face as if he hasn't properly understood your words, you add, “So maybe we could get an ice cream?” 

 

And Mycroft’s mind is still mostly on the feel of your stomach underneath his hand and how from what he could tell it felt as if the skin was partly soft and partly hard there and so it takes him a moment to fully digest your words, before he’s finally able to reply, “That sounds most agreeable,” as his brain begins to function somewhat properly again.

 

“Good,” you tell him, feeling relieved to have finally gotten a response, and then you smile at each other again, before you slip your hand tentatively back into his and begin to make your way across to where all of the food stands are in the centre of the park. 

 

But as you do, rather than thinking about what kind of ice cream you want and whether you should just opt for your favourite flavour as is usually the case, you can’t help but think about Mycroft’s hand on your stomach again and begin to feel hopeful because of it. For maybe you might actually have a chance with him after all, maybe he _does_ feel something for you, you think, and you can’t help but look hopefully up at him now. 

 

Mycroft meanwhile has spotted a circular stand where if you can hook one of the yellow, plastic ducks that bob in a pool in the centre you can win a goldfish. And as his eyes come to fix on one of the goldfish in the clear, plastic bags of water that hang at the top of the stand a small chuckle escapes him without him being able to help it. For he would never have thought that it was possible to feel like he’s done today about a person who he would have once considered to be similar in mind to one of those goldfish. 

 

But, “What?” you ask him curiously now and so he comes out of his thought as you both come to a stop to find that you’re peering up at him with a puzzled look on your face. 

 

And, “Oh, it’s nothing really,” Mycroft begins with amusement in his tone, before he nods at one of the little fish, and then when he sees that you've followed his gaze he goes on, “It’s just that I used to always tell Sherlock that, for me, with my mind, it’s sometimes like I'm living in a world of goldfish,” and he says it quite without thinking really, for he’s just reminiscing about a memory and it’s only as something begins to cloud over your face that he realizes he’s just unintentionally offended you. 

 

Then _“Oh,”_ you breathe out as your eyes fix on his chest rather than his eyes and all the hope that you’d begun to feel dies inside you like a flower cut short, before it could even bloom. 

 

And you sound so disappointed that it makes Mycroft’s heart clench, before his mind begins to panic when you let go of his hand and then fold your arms across your chest protectively. So, “F/N? I didn't mean”- he begins now, whilst he feels like kicking himself, for why did he have to go and say that and spoil everything?

 

But, “I'm hungry,” is all you say evenly, before you carry on walking towards the centre of the park with your arms still folded and your head bowed and as you get closer and closer the smell of food-burgers, hot dogs, chips and many other things besides hits you-and your stomach rumbles even more persistently. 

 

Mycroft meanwhile bites at his lip as his heart sinks in his chest, before he follows you. And he can tell that you want to keep a bit of a distance between you so he stays a few steps away from you, before he joins the queue for the ice cream behind you. But you don’t look around or talk to him for the entire duration of the queue. So, knowing that he has to do something to try and regain your favour, once you get to the front of the queue and place your order he leans forwards and places his hands delicately on your waist, before with his head close to your shoulder he tells you, “I’ll get this.”

 

 _“Oh,”_ you breathe in surprise, before you turn your head to look at him as he lets go of your waist, and then as he smiles sincerely at you a small, tentative smile appears on your own face. Then, “Thank you,” you say softly as he hands the money over to the ice cream man now. And then you take your ice cream cone, which is bursting with your favourite flavour, before you step aside and move a little away so that you can wait for Mycroft without getting in anyone’s way too much. But though you take a few tentative licks of your ice cream you find that your eyes are on Mycroft too much to really be paying it proper attention right now and so you end up just holding it as you watch him pay the ice cream man, before he takes his change and drops it back into his wallet and then pushes said wallet back into his trouser pocket. Then his head darts back up again and he exchanges a couple of words with the ice cream man as the ice cream cone is passed to him, before his head turns as he begins to move away. And then when his eyes come to rest on you he immediately looks relieved, before he nods and swallows. You however find yourself giving him a little wave with your free hand, which you chide yourself for a moment later because there’s barely any distance between you, before you can’t help but smile as he gives you a little uncertain one back as he comes across to you. 

 

Then once he stops before you, you look around a little and then say, “There’s a free bench over there,” once you spot the rare free seating area amongst all the other areas for people to sit and eat. 

 

“In that case shall we?” Mycroft asks and you nod, before you lead him across to it. 

 

Once you get there and sit down close to each other, but still with a little gap between your legs and his, for a moment you just focus on eating your respective ice creams. But it isn't long before your mind begins to wander back to what Mycroft said about everyone else being like a goldfish compared to him. And as you replay his words in your mind now your heart can’t help but sink. For if he really feels that way then you might as well forget about asking him out right now because who would want to go out with a goldfish? And you can’t help but look across to him now, before a little smile dances across your face in spite of yourself at the sight of his tongue as it curves around the ice cream to smooth it down. But then you feel a great pang in your chest a moment later and you have to look away. 

 

Mycroft realizes you're looking at him at the very moment you look away and so he looks at you now, ready to smile, but he never does for you look so sad once more. And he knows it’s his fault this time so he knocks his knee lightly against yours to get you to look at him, before when your eyes are on him once more he asks, “Something on your mind?”

 

You look away now at your knees and for a moment your free hand fiddles with the bottom of your dress. Then it stills, but still holds onto it as you look back at him and ask, “Do you really see other people as goldfish?” and your eyes are so desperately on him that it makes him swallow and look away. 

 

Then a moment later he looks back at you and tries to explain, “You have to understand that every time I've said that I've said it as someone who, aside from work, has had very little true interaction with people,” and his gaze turns to his knees now, before he gathers his courage enough to look back at you and continue, “So, whilst, yes I am mostly of that opinion I have to admit, especially after being here with you today, that there are perhaps more important things about a person than the speed of their mind,” and as he looks at you, whilst he hopes that you understand as he finishes now, you can’t help but smile and feel a sort of renewed hope inside you. 

 

So, “Like?” you can’t help but ask a moment later as the beginnings of something mischievous toys around your lips. 

 

And Mycroft can’t help but let out a relieved breath and smile, before, “Miss L/N are you fishing for compliments?” he asks. 

 

And you wriggle about a little now as the grin that’s on your face grows. Then, “I might be,” you begin, before you add, “But”- and then break off at the sight of Mycroft’s tongue as it comes out to dart around his ice cream once more. 

 

But, “Go on,” Mycroft urges you after he swallows and his eyes, which seem to be shining with both something intense and playful, go back to you. 

 

So you draw yourself up a little and swallow as you try to compose yourself and not think about what you’d quite like that tongue to do. Then, “Well, obviously I'm not just asking for me. I'm asking on behalf of the entire human race really,” you say with a shrug. 

 

And, _“Obviously,”_ Mycroft purrs as he shifts a little so that his knee comes into contact with yours again and your heart jumps in your chest. 

 

Then you fumble on hurriedly, “Because if you’re going to compare us all to goldfish, but then admit that we do in fact have some good points then I think we have a right to hear them.”

 

And Mycroft nods, before he leans back a little more as he considers, whilst he looks away from you and your heart pounds as you watch him. Then, “Well,” he begins smoothly as he looks back at you, “If the human race decided to send someone like you to pry such information out of me then perhaps they’re not so slow after all,” and your heart slams against your chest now, for is he _flirting_ with you?

 

So barely daring to believe it you ask him tentatively, “Someone like me?” 

 

And Mycroft stares at you for a moment as his eyes dance with something, before, “Yes, someone with such good qualities,” he explains matter-of-factly. 

 

And you let out a little breath, before, “So what are my good qualities then?” you push him a little breathlessly. 

 

And, “You really have no idea?” Mycroft asks. 

 

“No,” you breathe, and you can feel your ice cream beginning to melt and trickle down all over your hand but none of it matters, not when his eyes are turning a dark blue as they look at you even more intently. 

 

Then, “Well you’re warm and caring for one thing,” Mycroft begins steadily now, before he goes on, “Even to the point where I think if my brother was in trouble you’d want to help him”-

 

And, “Of course I would,” you interrupt and Mycroft smiles and bows his head now as if you've just proved his point. 

 

Then, “Not to mention that you’re very pretty too, _beautiful_ in fact,” Mycroft continues as his eyes dart to your lips now, and then his head tilts a little closer to yours, whilst your own spins and your lips part and your heart beats unevenly in your chest and you can do nothing but stare at him because is this really happening? “Intelligent too,” Mycroft breathes in the next moment, his eyes going from your eyes to your lips and then back again and he’s so close now that you can feel his warm breath as it hits your face. 

 

And, “Even though my mind moves more slowly?” you can’t help but ask now, and you sound mildly terrified as you do so. 

 

 _“Yes,”_ Mycroft murmurs fervently and his lips are nearly on yours now but-

 

“No kissing!” a loud childish voice comes from just behind you suddenly and Mycroft jerks away at once to sit back how he was, before a moment later, as your heart races and you feel both excited and disappointed, a child, perhaps around seven or eight-years-old runs around and around the bench where you’re both sitting.

 

But, “Tommy! What have I told you about staying out of other people’s business?!” a harried woman with long straggly brown hair yells a moment later.

 

And the dark haired boy, who reminds Mycroft of Sherlock, skids to a stop and turns to her now, before he protests loudly, “But Mum they were going to kiss!” 

 

And, “I don’t care!” his mother screeches at him, before she shoos him away from you with an embarrassed sort of smile on her face. 

 

So with a blush on your face you swallow now, before you look away from Mycroft. 

 

Yet, feeling like he should say something, Mycroft clears his throat a moment later, before as he looks back at you he nods at your ice cream and says, “Your ice cream’s melting.”

 

So you look back at him and when you see that his own has started to drip down the cone too you tell him, “So's yours,” and he looks down at it now, for he’d hardly noticed, before he looks back up and both feeling encouraged by each other’s reactions you exchange a little smile with each other, before you go on to finish eating. 

 

Once you’re finished though your hands are all sticky and Mycroft’s aren't that much better so you both take a walk to the block of toilets that are close to the park’s main entrance, before you agree to meet each other back outside. 

 

Then once you dart into the Ladies you stare at yourself in the mirror as your heart races and you only half-concentrate on washing your hands. For you hadn't just imagined it you know. Mycroft, Mycroft _freaking_ Holmes had actually been just about to kiss you and you can’t help but let out an excited breath now, before your feet do a little run on the spot. Then, “Okay,” you tell yourself now as you take a deep breath and turn the tap off, before you go and dry your hands with a paper towel, “Just play it cool F/N, don’t do anything stupid and all this might just work out fine after all.” And you give yourself an excited smile in the mirror now, before you smooth your dress down and check your hair. Then you nod at yourself, before you march back outside. 

 

Mycroft meanwhile has gone to the toilet and washed his hands and is now staring at himself in the mirror over the sink. His hair could be neater he thinks irritably and he runs his hands over it now to try and smooth it back down. Then he turns his head this way and that to assess it. It passes the test so he goes on to smooth down his shirt, before he wonders if he should undo a third button just for good measure. And his hands come up to undo it now, before he changes his mind and so he adjusts his jacket so that it rests on him more comfortably instead. Then his eyes go back to his face in the mirror and, “Okay,” he tells himself, “Things didn't work out just now, but just kiss her, before the day’s over and everything will be fine, she’ll know how you feel,” and he pauses for a moment now, for it’s quite a terrifying thought to admit to himself, and even more terrifying is the fact that he’s found himself falling for you in just a few hours. But still he knows it’s true and that this is not just curiosity on his part. He wants you to hold his hand, _only_ you, amongst other things of course…and as his mind allows a rare daydream in, in which your lips meet his he shakes his head now to get a hold of himself once more. Then, “Everything will be fine,” he tells himself, before he nods at himself and strides out. 

 

You’re already there waiting but you’re not looking at him so he stops for a moment just to take a deep breath and ready himself. Then he fiddles with the cuffs of his shirt, whilst his eyes take you in and observe how you’re staring off into the distance with your head turned to the side and his eyes slide down to fix on the curve of your neck, which is more revealed to him, before he swallows and strides over to you. 

 

And as soon as you spot him you smile so, “Where to next?” he asks. 

 

“On our way here I saw a sign for the hall of mirrors, so maybe we could go there?” you ask him, whilst you don’t mention that you’re hoping, what with it being a more closed off space, that there might be enough time for you both to get back to what you’d almost been doing when you were both supposed to be eating ice cream. 

 

Mycroft nods and so you move to head there, but then a moment later he clears his throat and so you look back at him in confusion, before you smile at the sight of him offering his hand to you. Then you take it eagerly and he lets out a satisfied breath the moment after you do so, which makes your smile grow even more and your heart flutter as he looks down at you with a lazy sort of smile on his face. And as you begin to walk together once more the same contentment that you’d started to feel at being so close to him in the ghost train comes back to you so you shift even closer to him, before you tilt your head so that it comes down to knock against his arm momentarily and he smiles down at you as hope begins to stir in his heart. So you smile back at him a moment later and then as you reach the hall of mirrors you let go of his hand and take the lead as you slip inside. A narrow hallway has been constructed in between two white walls and the wall in front of you has about a dozen full-length mirrors side by side as you walk down. The first one, as you step in front of it, makes you look fat, so you move onto the next one quickly. This one makes you look tall, taller than Mycroft even and you smile a little as you twist this way and that and take in the effect it has. It’s only when you come to the third mirror that you realize Mycroft’s still on the first. And as you look across at him your breath hitches in your chest at the sight of the sad, thoughtful look that’s on his face. 

 

For you can’t know that as soon as he had stepped in front of the mirror the sight it had reflected back at him had caught him completely off guard. And seeing himself this way, blown up to twice his size, as he is doing now and which he seems unable to look away from, makes every dark memory and doubt come back to him and suddenly he’s not just seeing himself in the mirror but remembering too. Remembering the children at school and how cruel they could be. Remembering stuffing himself just to make himself feel temporarily better when the darkness would sweep in and the doubts take over. Remembering looking at himself in the mirror and hating what he saw…and as he remembers these things he wishes that he hadn't had that ice cream now. For he can already feel it adding weight to him and shifting his shape so that he looks even more like what he sees in the mirror and suddenly he wishes that he were thinner- 

 

But then he senses you looking towards him so he forces himself out of his thought and looks at you. Then he gestures hopelessly with his hands as he tries to explain, “I've tried dieting, and I've lost some weight, but”- and he looks back into the mirror now. And as he does he’s doubting himself and doubting whether you actually see anything in him now as he’s begun to hope you do. 

 

So, “Mycroft that mirror makes everyone look bad,” you tell him gently as you stride across to him now and slip your hand back into his. 

 

But he merely looks down at you with something both sad and serious in his eyes as you look back at him, then, “I've been bigger than I am now,” he tells you as if he’s warning you and of course he is, for he doesn't believe that you’d still think you want to go out with him if you really knew how capable he is of just swelling up at any moment and becoming the picture in the mirror. 

 

Yet, “I don’t care,” you breathe, and he looks like he doesn't believe you now so you add with more conviction, “You could be the size of a small whale for all I care, you’d still be you and that’s better than what anyone else has got as far as I'm concerned,” and he smiles a little now in spite of himself. So, “Come and look in this one with me,” you tell him, before you tug him towards the third mirror. 

 

But as you come to a stop in front of it you let out a little breath. For even though you’re standing close to Mycroft there’s still a little gap between you, yet in the mirror there’s none and you’re blurring into each other, your bodies becoming one. And it’s one of the most beautiful things you've ever seen so you can’t help but let go of Mycroft’s hand now and move closer towards it, before you press your hand right up to the glass. And Mycroft lets out a little breath as you do so, for you’re touching the glass so gently and almost caressing it as if everything you see inside it is everything that you want and it’s one of the most beautiful things he has ever seen. 

 

Then you turn your head to look back at him a moment later and, “It looks like I'm touching your heart,” you breathe in wonder, before you look back at the way your hand on the mirror appears to be resting on his heart. 

 

And instinctively he steps forwards now until he’s standing with his body half-pressed lightly against yours. Then, “And if I do this,” he murmurs as he slowly lifts his hand now, before he tentatively comes to rest it on top of yours, and your breath hitches in your chest as your eyes take in the sight of his long fingers in between yours and the gentle feel of his hand upon your own, before your head turns to look at him as he murmurs, “Then perhaps it will look as if I'm touching yours.”

 

And both of your bodies turn towards each other’s now until you’re in his arms and he’s tilting his head down towards you once more and your lips are parting in anticipation now because this is it. This is the moment. 

 

But, “And I told Jason”- comes the sound of a woman approaching the hall of mirrors and both Mycroft and you spring away from each other, before your lips can touch and you fold your arms across your chest as you pretend to look in the mirror once more, whilst Mycroft runs a frustrated hand through his hair and undoes all his hard work in the bathroom earlier. 

 

Then a moment later as a group of five women enter the hall of mirrors they take the pair of you in, before, “Oh my God, look who it is,” one of them says now so both Mycroft and you turn automatically to look at them. 

 

And as you do your heart sinks and your mind begins to panic a little because it’s your friends, the same five friends who you’d earlier told Mycroft had, had a better offer and couldn't come. 

 

Mycroft recognizes them too. He’d once seen them on his way downstairs from visiting his brother as they’d all trooped out of 221C and he’d felt surprised that you could be friends with such a loud group of people, before he’d then gone on to ask you jokingly if you had Noah’s Ark in your flat too and you’d given him a sort of nervous and uncertain smile in response. But as he looks at them all now and takes them in he feels puzzled, for he remembers what you’d said earlier. So, “Ah, you could make it after all,” he comments as airily as he can. But his mind is already beginning to worry about what might be about to happen next. For surely now your friends are here you’ll want to go off and explore the carnival with them instead won’t you? And that means that he won’t get the chance to kiss you today. But then when he sees that they all look puzzled by his remark he comes out of his thought and adds, “F/N told me you had all decided to go off somewhere else instead.”

 

And, _“Mycroft,”_ you hiss, trying to get him to shut up if you can, whilst your hands fidget. Yet he just looks at you for a moment, not understanding what he’s done wrong, before he looks back at your friends. 

 

And the girl who had spoken before-Lucy-looks mock-outraged for a moment, before she lets out a little laugh as she looks around with amusement at the others. Then, “Is that what you told him to get him to come with you today F/N?” she snickers and you shift uncomfortably now.

 

Mycroft’s gaze meanwhile goes to you again and then when he sees how awkward they’re clearly making you feel a desire to protect you fills him at once so he steps a little in front of you, before he tells Lucy, “F/N didn't have to do anything to get me to come with her today, I wanted to as soon as she asked me,” and despite the fact that you know he’s stretching the truth there and you’d rather he didn't get involved you feel grateful for his words nonetheless. 

 

And, “Oooh,” Lucy says, before she looks Mycroft up and down in between chewing her gum, then, “It’s all right, no need to get your knickers in a twist, we’re not doing anything wrong, she’s the one who had the better offer apparently,” she tells him and you wish that she’d just shut up and not put on this front all the time, but you feel far too apprehensive to say anything to her right now so you just remain quiet. 

 

Mycroft meanwhile wears a blazing look, before he takes your hand in his defiantly and tells them, “If you can’t treat F/N with the respect she deserves and be a good friend to her then I think you should leave,” and you look at him in wonder now but his gaze is fixed on Lucy angrily. 

 

But, “God, you've done a good job on him already F/N, which surprises me considering you’re so shy, but they say that it’s the shy ones you've gotta watch out for isn't it?” Lucy says with a laugh now and the others all join in behind her like sheep. 

 

And your hand twitches in Mycroft’s now as you finally say pathetically, “Please just go,” without even being able to look at them and at the sound of your vulnerability Mycroft tightens his hold on you. 

 

But Lucy reads you easily and her lips part, before a deliciously wicked sort of smile toys around her mouth. Then, “Oh my God you haven’t asked him out yet have you?” she asks as her eyes go gleefully to Mycroft who looks at you now.

 

And, “I was just”- you begin hopelessly, not even knowing how to explain it as you stare at the grass by your feet and feel ashamed of yourself for letting Lucy walk all over you and for letting the situation with Mycroft get the better of you. 

 

But, “And there was me thinking that you actually had, for you were both looking so cosy just now. What do you think guys?” and as she looks around now at the rest of your friends they all nod and make approving noises. 

 

Whilst one-Isabella-even says, “Yeah they were!” and they all burst out laughing now. 

 

Then, “In the hall of mirrors!” Lucy cries out now and she says it in such a way with her voice rising up and down that it makes her words echo off the walls, before she leads them past you both. 

 

And as the others follow one of them-Emma-says, “Or should that be the hall of _lurve_?” as she winks at you and something seems to crumple inside you as she does so. 

 

Then as soon as they exit through the door, their laughter getting carried back to you, Mycroft asks, “Why are you even friends with them when they make you feel like this?” with frustration in his tone, before he can even help it.

 

And you shrug now, before you let go of his hand and fold your arms across your chest. Then you bite at your lip, before you tell him, “Because there was no one else I guess.”

 

“Well there has to be,” Mycroft tells you firmly now, before, “There’s a nice seeming girl that Sherlock knows, Molly Hooper, I could ask him to introduce you to her. She’d probably be a better friend to you then”-

 

But you huff out a breath now because you can’t deal with him being so nice to you, not when he’s acting as if he didn't even hear Lucy say what she had about you asking him out so, “I can’t talk about this right now,” you tell him, for you just want to get away from everything and cry. And so when he tries to hold your hand again you jerk your folded arms up so that he can’t, before you brush past him and stride off towards the exit. 

 

So, _“F/N?”_ he calls after you now, whilst his heart sinks at the sight of you closing yourself off from him, before he hurries after you. 

 

But when he exits the hall of mirrors himself it is to find that you've already become lost in the crowd and so he searches for you frantically with his eyes now, whilst his heart pounds and gives a little jolt every time he sees someone with h/c hair. Yet it’s never you and he pushes forwards now, his head turning and his eyes scanning, scanning, scanning until finally he sees you. You’re striding quickly with your head bowed and your arms still folded as you head towards the park gates. And Mycroft’s heart shudders in his chest, before he tears after you. 

 

His body is used to walking quickly and to then building it up into a jog or a run, but not to this sudden burst of half-jogging, half-running that he’s putting it through right now. And his heart feels like it might explode in his chest, whilst his head spins and his mouth pants. So when he gets a bit closer to you but you’re still some distance away he stops and swallows a couple of times, before, “F/N?” he calls out again, hoping as he does that you’ll stop and wait for him once you hear him. But although he sees you falter for the briefest of seconds you don’t stop. So, “F/N? Please! Please let me talk to you!” he tries again, whilst people look at him as if he’s gone crazy. And maybe he has after what he’s been through today, for he feels altered and it’s all because of you and he’s not just going to let you walk away from him now. So he readies himself and then tears after you again. 

 

He catches up with you just after you've left the park and as he reaches you at last he throws out an arm so that his hand may grasp your shoulder briefly and finally you stop and turn around to look at him. So, “Please come back to the carnival with me, we can still have a nice time. I want to buy you one of those wind chimes that you liked so much earlier, or perhaps try and win you something if I can,” Mycroft pleads a little breathlessly, whilst his chest heaves from his exertion. 

 

But you shake your head and then you don’t even look at him as you say, “I just want to go home.”

 

And Mycroft studies you desperately for a moment, but he can see that your mind is made up so, “Well, at least come back to mine for a little while first,” he says, for he knows that the time might not be right to kiss you any more but at the very least he wants to have a conversation about all this with you. 

 

And knowing that he’s not going to take no for an answer you nod your head rather irritably at him, before you turn around and carry on walking. Mycroft falls into step with you a moment later but you don’t say anything at all. For you just feel so stupid and now Mycroft must think you’re stupid too and even more of a goldfish for lying just to get him to come to the carnival with you and for not even having the nerve to ask him out properly. And Mycroft keeps looking at you and you feel like crying because you know that you’ll have to tell him how you feel now, for he’s bound to ask you what your friends meant. But the last thing you want to do is tell him when you feel like this. When you feel so sad and frustrated because you might have had a chance with him earlier, but you feel like you've made too much of a fool of yourself to have one with him now. And as the ache that’s been in your chest ever since you started to walk increases a little breath of frustration leaves your mouth, before a couple of tears spill out of your eyes and you wipe them away as quickly as you can. For you don’t want to cry in front of him. 

 

Mycroft knows what you’re doing though and he feels even more concerned about you now. For why are you letting yourself get so upset and worked up about what your friends had said? Why are you letting their words pierce your heart so much? And so not understanding but wanting to make you feel better all the same he tries to reach up and take your hand now even though your arms are folded and it’s difficult for him to do so. 

 

But, “What are you doing?” you ask him now, your voice thick with both frustration and sadness, and as you turn your head to look at him he feels a little winded when he sees the tears that are shining in your eyes. 

 

So, “Trying to take your hand,” he says. 

 

But, _“Why?”_ you ask him, whilst you press your folded arms even closer to your chest so that he can’t take your hand. 

 

“Because you’re sad and I want to try and make you feel better,” Mycroft says earnestly now, his eyes full of concern for you.

 

But, “You don’t even understand why I'm sad though do you?” you ask him now with frustration in your tone as you begin to walk even more quickly. 

 

And Mycroft increases his pace to match yours now, before, “I would if you just told me,” he tells you, and there’s a desperate sort of impatience in his voice now. 

 

And you shake your head irritably now as you look away from him, whilst more tears roll down your face. So you swipe them away angrily, before when you finally reach his driveway once more you stop and turn to face him. Then, _“Fine!”_ you blurt out with your upset eyes on his concerned ones, “You really want to know why I'm so upset?” and Mycroft barely has time to give more than a little uncertain nod as his lips part, before you go on, “It’s because all day, all day I've been trying, I've been wanting to ask you out,” and as a little breath escapes Mycroft’s lips, before his face softens as everything locks into place and his mind becomes smooth once more you add in a rather resigned fashion, “Trying to ask you if I could be your goldfish…” before you pause for breath. Then, “And I thought, f-for one moment or two today that you might actually say yes when I got the courage too. I-I thought you actually might be interested in me, a-and then they came along and I just made an idiot of myself!” and as you pause again you realize that you’re only making yourself look more of an idiot by telling him all this, not to mention a pathetic one, and that you’re probably making him feel uncomfortable too, just like you had when you’d first tried to hold his hand so you shake your head at him and then, “Y-You know what? Just forget all of this, just forget today and forget I said anything just now,” you blurt out, before you make to turn away from him. 

 

But as you do Mycroft grabs onto one of your hands and pulls you back to him and you let out a little squeak of surprise as your free hand ends up on his chest and you find yourself so close to him. Then, as bursts of sunlight make you look even more beautiful as they come through gaps in the tall hedge that’s obscuring you both from the street, he kisses you. 

 

You let out a breath of surprise against his lips and your knees nearly give way at the shock of it all, but Mycroft’s hands come up to support your back to make sure that you won’t fall, before his head tilts forwards even more so that he can kiss you even more insistently. And your eyes flutter shut as you begin to kiss him back and he lets out a little groan of pleasure as you do, which makes you smile into the kiss. Then the hand that’s on his chest moves to clutch onto the firmness of his waist and rub at the smooth material of his jacket, whilst your other one combs through his hair, before it goes to the back of his neck and pushes him even closer to you. And yet another sound of pleasure leaves Mycroft now, before he finally draws back from you so that you can both catch your breath. 

 

Then, “Does that answer your question?” he asks you as one of his hands moves now so that it may run through your hair. 

 

And, “I think so,” you breathe, still both looking and feeling dazed as you move your hand up from his waist absent-mindedly so that your fingers can play with the collar of his shirt and trail across the small gap that reveals his chest. 

 

And Mycroft’s breath hitches at the feel of your fingers against his warm skin, before, “If you’re not sure then I can’t have been doing it right,” he says. 

 

And you’re about to protest now, about to tell him that no, actually you’re pretty sure he was doing it right, _very_ right in fact when he takes you by surprise and kisses you again. So you let out a little breath just like you did the first time he kissed you, but you don’t waste so much time before you kiss him back this time and the kiss grows deeper very quickly. His hands go to your back again and push you closer to him, whilst yours go to his shoulders and your bodies push against each other’s pleasurably as longing swirls inside you both as your lips slide frantically against each other’s. And you’re trembling with desire by the time Mycroft pulls away from you and you’re sure he knows it as he looks at you out of dark blue eyes that are filled with want. 

 

Then, “Was that better?” he asks you breathlessly. 

 

And, “Yes,” you breathe, feeling shivery still as your body craves more, more, more and for one wild moment you want him to invite you inside, or heck you want to just invite yourself in and let him take you to his bedroom and do whatever he wants to you. 

 

But this is new and the last thing that either of you want to do is to spoil it by moving too fast, before its even properly begun. So you lessen your hold on him a little and then he lets go of you and steps back. 

 

Then, “Can I get your number?” you ask, for that’s the first sensible thing that your dazed mind can think of. 

 

And, “Of course,” Mycroft replies pleasantly, before he adds a little mischievously, “As long as I can get yours in return because I’ll need it so that I can call you tonight and ask you on an official date tomorrow,” and you smile now. 

 

Then, “Or I could always just say yes now,” you say reasonably. 

 

And, “You could,” Mycroft agrees and he looks pleased now, “But that won’t, I fear, stop me from calling you tonight,” and you smile now and then after swapping numbers he says, “I shall see you soon then F/N.”

 

“Tomorrow actually I believe,” you say, before, “Though don’t ask me how I knew that,” you tease. 

 

And, “You must have read my mind,” Mycroft tells you now. 

 

And, “Yes I must have,” you agree, before you step closer to him automatically now and run a hand across his hair and then down the side of his face and he shivers a little, before he tilts his head closer to your hand. Then, “I've been told I'm very intelligent for a goldfish,” you continue. 

 

And as your hand slips down to his chest now he tells you, “Oh you’re gold my dear but you’re no goldfish,” before he dips you and then kisses you briefly once more, and you can’t help but laugh with delight as he pulls away. 

 

Then once he’s helped you into a standing position you tell him, “That was so cheesy Myc.”

 

And, “I know it was. You’ll have to forgive me my dear, you've rather affected my mind today,” he says and you can’t help but feel pleased now. 

 

So, “Good,” you say as you tap his nose with your finger now, before you tell him, “In that case I’ll have to do my best to try and affect it tomorrow too.”

 

And, “I look forward to it,” he murmurs and you smile. 

 

Then there’s a brief silence where you just hold onto each other’s hands loosely and stare at each other as if neither of you can believe this is real, which in all honesty you can’t, before, “Goodbye then,” you tell him. 

 

And, “See you tomorrow my dear,” Mycroft says in response, before he watches as you smile briefly at him and then turn to make your way back to the street and then to 221C and he can’t know the smile that’s on your face as you do so. 

 

And as you disappear from view he turns and makes his way slowly to the door. After he closes it and steps inside he pushes the door softly shut behind him a moment later. Then for a moment with his back to the door and his hands against it he just stands there, closes his eyes and lets out a little happy breath. And in that moment Mycroft Holmes has more in common with a teenage girl back from her first date than any government official. 

 

Then as he steps into the living room and his eyes fix on where he’d abandoned his paperwork he can’t help but wear an unusually silly smile, before he shrugs off his jacket and places it over the back of the settee. Then with no intention of completing the paperwork any time soon he makes his way to the kitchen so that he can pour himself a glass of whisky and drink it as he reminisces about you and the feel of your soft lips against his.


End file.
